The Curious Case of Jared

My life started on December 3rd sixteen years ago. Since then, I have been trying to live life to the fullest. I was born in Paradise California, Butte County Hospital, at a weight of 8 pounds 5 ounces, and 100% healthy, except for a heart murmur. Problems have been erupting all around me, including family, friends, and personal issues.
This school year I started off playing football for Alameda High School, as an offensive and defensive tackle linemen, starting on junior varsity. With all the pain and hard work that I put into making my life simple, and less antagonizing, I have made a serene environment in my subconscious, that gives me a drive to go forth into the world and do the best that I can. My days would start with a religious class, followed by school, then football practice. It repeated everyday, until the end of November. I thought it would be the end of actually working for something I wanted, but there was always something missing. After a while I thought it was the work outs, and the feeling of a team, but that was not it. Now I know what it is.

In one of my previous blogs I had typed out one of my songs into a post, that was written for a special someone. Today I told that someone to check out my blog at a special dinner that was a party thrown for us teenagers that go to the religious class every weekday. Some people go up to me and ask me "who do you like?", and I lie to them and say nobody, but they know I am lying but they do not know why.
The problem is that I hide the truth from people, so I never have to feel the pain of rejection. It is a difficult thing to do if you do not know how to approach the person without completely blanking out and talking to them about something irrelevant to what you were going to say. Sometimes it feels like going out on a limb will make me too open for anyone to hate on, or make fun of, but I will try harder to share the emotion in a positive way to help decrease the risk of messing up talking to them. I just hope that the person I am talking about feels the same way, but if not, then I guess I will have to take no for an answer and move on even if I do not want to. I sometimes want to just come out and say to the person's face what I have wanted to say for the entire school year. For first time in my life I will tell them how I feel about them tomorrow, at exactly 10:30 PM, and take the plunge of a serious relationship. I need all the luck from the World and from our Father in Heaven, to assist me in staying on track and taking this rough patch and smoothing it out into a beautiful masterpiece.